Everything but the Squeal by Scalzi John

Author:Scalzi,John [Scalzi,John]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Subterranean Press
Published: 2016-09-19T06:00:00+00:00

I noticed a funny thing on the pod ride back home, which was that someone would get in the pod I with me, and then get off a stop later. This happened three times before the door slid open and Leah popped her head in.

“Trust me, Leah, you want to take the next pod,” I said.

“What’s that smell?” she said.

“It’s my job,” I said. “It stinks.”

“Hey, you have a job!” she said, and came in to give me a hug. The door slid closed behind her.

“Now you’re in for it,” I said.

“I think I can handle the smell of an honest day’s work,” she said, and then gave her destination to the pod. We started off. “I mean, I hope you won’t smell like this at the end of every day. But first days are always stressful. What’s the new job?”

“Pig farmer,” I said.

“Normally I’d tell you to stop kidding around, but given how you smell at the moment, I’m willing to believe it,” Leah said.

“Oh, believe it,” I said. I told her about my day.

“It could be a positive,” Leah said. “It’s like an initiation rite into the tribe. If they didn’t like you, they would have just said good night to you at the end of your shift.”

“So, when you started your job, did your co-workers do something like this?” I said.

“No,” Leah admitted. “They took me out for a drink. But they don’t have access to pig droppings, either.”

“I’m not sure I agree 100% with your tribe initiation theory,” I said.

“In that case, stick with it and get them back,” Leah said. We were coming up to our stop. “Because you now have access to pig droppings, too.”

“That’s a very good point,” I said. “And here all this time I was thinking you were a nice girl, Leah.”

“I am a nice girl,” Leah said. “I’m just not a pushover.”

Later at home, mom opened the door a crack while I was in the shower. I was using the graywater because I was wanting a real long soak and after my day, whining about graywater just seemed kind of stupid.

“Syndee told me about your day at work,” mom said, through the door.

“Did she tell you I rubbed her face in my shirt after she called me a ‘stinkpig’?” I asked.

“That was how I found out,” mom said. “I told her I was going to let it slide this time. Do you want to have me talk to your supervisor about it?”

“Since my supervisor was one of the people laughing his ass off about it, I don’t think it would do much good,” I said.

“Well, then, his supervisor,” mom said.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to fight my battle for me anymore,” I said.

“Having your kid drenched in pig shit changes things,” mom said, and I realized she must really be pissed, because she hardly ever swore in front of me or Syndee. I laughed. “What’s so funny?” mom asked.

“Never mind,” I said. I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist.

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